It's been too long. I have completely abandoned blogging. I guess I've traded it for living.
We started The Well recovery ministry in October and are still going strong, even though we've taken some blows. We have a group of incredible leaders and I couldn't be more thankful for them, and I have learned as much from our members as they have from me, I'm sure! It's an awesome thing to watch people grow in their relationship with Christ and see them bearing fruit!
The hardest part of this whole thing for me right now is that apparently I'm a control freak! At least that's what I was told yesterday. We've got a ministry full of hurting people facing various crisis's, or crisi, or whatever the plural version of "crisis" is. I pray diligently for them all, but I want to DO something. I want to help them, and the truth is, in most cases, I can't. I knew it going in, and I tell them on a semi-regular basis, I cannot help them, but I can point them to the one who can.
Fortunately, I learned a very valuable lesson this fall. I developed nodes on my vocal chords and had to drop out of worship for two months, and spend as much time in silence as I could. I really heard a lot from God in those quiet months. The main thing was that in order to serve God in the capacity that He has planned for me, I am going to have to spend more and more time on my face in prayer. We can serve God without a voice, or many other resources, but we cannot have a ministry as God designed it without the vitally important silence in which God speaks to us.
This has proven to be yet another beautiful example of how God literally carries me through life. I am realizing more and more how completely inadequate I am to be in the positions God has placed me in. So much so that if I take my eyes off of Him for a minute, I get panicked. The really awesome thing is that God has shown me time and again in these past months that He's got me and that I have nothing to fear.
I taught at this year's big youth weekend retreat and our focus was "dead man walking". We looked at the transformation of Saul into the new man Paul and what a total, all encompassing recreation that was. In preparing for that weekend, I really took a step back and looked at the last seven years of my life, but in particular the last four. Oh my goodness! I barely even recognize the person I used to be! And there is no way that this change could be attributed to anyone besides our incredible, awesome, holy, sovereign God. I so wish I had a Polaroid of my spirit then versus who God has transformed me into. It makes me want to follow all the more diligently after Him and beg for refining and purifying, and further transformation.
I actually came to my blog tonight to shut her down for good, but maybe I'll keep it up and running a bit longer.........
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
It's been a long time!
Today I realized I haven't blogged since April. My, how time flies when your having fun.
I posted a blog about my whole life being in motion. Funny, I had no idea what was coming up.......
I journal slightly more consistently than I blog, and my first entry for 2007 was shortly before midnight on New Year's Eve. I had really felt that God told me this would be a huge year of change for me.
Let me give you a brief summary of this year's events so far.
1.) I began leading worship at our church once a month.
2.) I was offered a real job being a worship leader with another church, which took me a while to figure out wasn't for me, but I learned a whole lot from the experience.
3.) I quit real estate. No really. After eight years of being Mrs. Career-oriented, I dropped it like a hot potato and haven't looked back. Weird!
4.) We opened a coffee house, don't ask me how that fits into this picture. But I did get to paint my first murial which was tons of fun, and I'm about to start a new one!
5.) And........My church is starting a recovery ministry for hurting and addicted people. And somehow, God has lined things up for me to lead that ministry. I'm scared and WAAAYYYYY out of my league, but have no doubt that this is right where I am supposed to be right now.
So I'm still a little dizzy, but I cannot wait to see what God is doing with me and my dear friends that are in this with me!
Gotta go again!
Monday, April 16, 2007
His, hers, and hours
This past Sunday's bible study lesson was on giving. It is a challenge to communicate to 11th and 12th grade girls as it is, but especially when they only had three hours of sleep the night before. Prom was Saturday, and the two girls that made it to Life Changing Bible Study were barely coherent at best. It was a good lesson, though, out of 2Corinthians. We talked about giving with the right motives and the right attitude, and making sure that our hearts were in the right place so that our giving would truly be an expression of our worship. And my personal favorite, that God would be glorified and praised because of our generosity. Good stuff!
I know that this lesson is referring to material wealth, but my mind tends to turn towards time. For some, parting with the cash is a big thing. But I think many people can very comfortably put a few dollars into the collection plate each week, even with a cheerful heart, but regard their time as a precious commodity. And it is just that. A very precious commodity. We only have so many hours on this planet, and then we're out of here!
Time has really been on my mind lately. As I am going through all of these changes (as mentioned in my previous post), I am really trying to reevaluate where my time is spent. I love to give my time to serving. The ministries that I have the pleasure of serving in are awesome, and right where I need to be, I'm sure. I feel like I was hand-crafted to be in creative arts and working with youth. But my heart is aching for some other groups lately, and I am confused a little by all of it. And not only is my heart pulling me that direction, but the opportunities are there as well.
First of all, addicts have been on my heart. I have personally experienced addiction. Not as deep as some, but probably deeper than a lot of folks. And I come from a family that has been plagued with addiction in one form or another. So I guess I have an understanding and a sympathy for those who suffer with addiction. And it is suffering for some. I have friends and family members and know of many others who have sincerely wanted to get off of their crutch. They hate who they are. They are miserable on it, but feel like they are dying without it.I have been attending meetings with a group of people who also have a heart for addicts and want to do something about the drug problem that has saturated our area. A friend also mentioned starting a service or small group at our church for those who have addiction problems, and that I might be a good person to be involved in that, and that idea has really stuck to me.
Then there is the next group. Children. I have no particular calling to teach or work with large groups of young children. I am good with my own girls, but I admit that we've got our own thing going, and it works. However, I am very drawn to children who have rough lives. Poor living conditions, abusive or negligent parents, etc. At one point, I was dead set that, if I was chosen, I would join the Jr. Axillary this year. They do so much for the kids through DHS! They supply clothing, toys, school items, and many other necessities. It is an excellent organization!
But then I came across opportunity #2 in the children's department. C.A.S.A. I don't know what that stands for yet, but they are an awesome group! They are volunteer advocates for children who have been sent to foster homes. You spend time with these little children to learn the details of their home life. Then you talk to their doctors and schools and gather all the information needed to represent them for their court hearing. It keeps the child from having to testify before a judge and possibly stand face to face with their perpetrator. You stick with your child throughout the process until they are either reconciled with their family or placed in adoption. I love this whole concept. I cannot imagine a 6 year old being pulled out of their terrible home, taken to a total stranger's house, and then the court battle begins. These advocates really keep these already hurting children from going through more trauma. Wow, I want to do that, too!
That's my problem, I want to do all of these new projects without giving up the others! And I still have a family, oh yeah......and a job. However, that is a part of my change. I have officially cut back to three days a week, and we'll see what happens from there! WOOHOO! So there's 16-18 extra hours per week. But, we are also opening the Coffee House again, and Beyond Walls (our outreach band at church) is kicking it into high gear starting next month.
So help me pray for clarity. I am really trying not to commit to anything new, yet. I want to be the very best I can be for the Kingdom, so I am trying to understand where exactly that is.
I found these two verses in 2 Corinthians, and they gave a lot of hope and peace....
3For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability.
7But just as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us—see that you also excel in this grace of giving.
I know that this lesson is referring to material wealth, but my mind tends to turn towards time. For some, parting with the cash is a big thing. But I think many people can very comfortably put a few dollars into the collection plate each week, even with a cheerful heart, but regard their time as a precious commodity. And it is just that. A very precious commodity. We only have so many hours on this planet, and then we're out of here!
Time has really been on my mind lately. As I am going through all of these changes (as mentioned in my previous post), I am really trying to reevaluate where my time is spent. I love to give my time to serving. The ministries that I have the pleasure of serving in are awesome, and right where I need to be, I'm sure. I feel like I was hand-crafted to be in creative arts and working with youth. But my heart is aching for some other groups lately, and I am confused a little by all of it. And not only is my heart pulling me that direction, but the opportunities are there as well.
First of all, addicts have been on my heart. I have personally experienced addiction. Not as deep as some, but probably deeper than a lot of folks. And I come from a family that has been plagued with addiction in one form or another. So I guess I have an understanding and a sympathy for those who suffer with addiction. And it is suffering for some. I have friends and family members and know of many others who have sincerely wanted to get off of their crutch. They hate who they are. They are miserable on it, but feel like they are dying without it.I have been attending meetings with a group of people who also have a heart for addicts and want to do something about the drug problem that has saturated our area. A friend also mentioned starting a service or small group at our church for those who have addiction problems, and that I might be a good person to be involved in that, and that idea has really stuck to me.
Then there is the next group. Children. I have no particular calling to teach or work with large groups of young children. I am good with my own girls, but I admit that we've got our own thing going, and it works. However, I am very drawn to children who have rough lives. Poor living conditions, abusive or negligent parents, etc. At one point, I was dead set that, if I was chosen, I would join the Jr. Axillary this year. They do so much for the kids through DHS! They supply clothing, toys, school items, and many other necessities. It is an excellent organization!
But then I came across opportunity #2 in the children's department. C.A.S.A. I don't know what that stands for yet, but they are an awesome group! They are volunteer advocates for children who have been sent to foster homes. You spend time with these little children to learn the details of their home life. Then you talk to their doctors and schools and gather all the information needed to represent them for their court hearing. It keeps the child from having to testify before a judge and possibly stand face to face with their perpetrator. You stick with your child throughout the process until they are either reconciled with their family or placed in adoption. I love this whole concept. I cannot imagine a 6 year old being pulled out of their terrible home, taken to a total stranger's house, and then the court battle begins. These advocates really keep these already hurting children from going through more trauma. Wow, I want to do that, too!
That's my problem, I want to do all of these new projects without giving up the others! And I still have a family, oh yeah......and a job. However, that is a part of my change. I have officially cut back to three days a week, and we'll see what happens from there! WOOHOO! So there's 16-18 extra hours per week. But, we are also opening the Coffee House again, and Beyond Walls (our outreach band at church) is kicking it into high gear starting next month.
So help me pray for clarity. I am really trying not to commit to anything new, yet. I want to be the very best I can be for the Kingdom, so I am trying to understand where exactly that is.
I found these two verses in 2 Corinthians, and they gave a lot of hope and peace....
3For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability.
7But just as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us—see that you also excel in this grace of giving.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Just Thinking Aloud
At our last leadership meeting our pastor brought up a very interesting theory on the generational connectivity needs of Christians. For example, the older generation looks to the intellectual aspects, the baby boomers started the movement in search of an experience with God, and so on and so on. So potentially, you can have a single congregation looking for an encounter that meets the needs of the intellectual, experiential, those who want something real, something that changes them, and something to act upon. Wow! What a challenge for leadership!
I am a self proclaimed arty-farty, so anything that appeals to the senses, anything I can experience is great for me. However, that doesn't cut it. I want to know God and understand more about him.
I read blogs that discuss this kind of thing, and there are basically three major categories.
First, you have the traditional church, that has been around for eons. Some claim it's broke, I don't know about that. Most of us over 25, as well as countless others throughout the ages, met Jesus Christ to the sweet old tune of "Just as I am". That being said, people are looking for something different, and many of those churches are struggling and closing their doors.
Then you have the experiential charismatic churches founded on the "Jesus Movement" as I have heard it said. They have experienced AWESOME movements of the Holy Spirit. They have changed the face of worship forever. I gather that they gave birth to the mega-church that has seeker services for the lost in which a rock show performance is given and the gospel is presented in a non-threatening fashion. And it works, thousands are being saving!
Now I am hearing more and more about this third group. They are somewhere in the middle, I guess. They are tired of the huge performance based services because they lack the meat of traditional service. They want to be connected with other members of the body of Christ and feel that 36,000 members in a church are a few too many (ya think?). They feel like it is too manufactured and superficial. But they are not necessarily on board with the traditional church either, they want to experience God in a tangible way. They want the manifest Holy presence that they found in the charismatic church. Tricky!
And this group is growing like crazy.
I am reading more and more material all the time that God's people want a real encounter with him in all of these areas. Which makes since, considering Christ told us to love him with our minds, bodies, and our hearts. I think that's the key, the heart.
I just think about these things in perspective to my home church. How do we meet the needs of all of these people? How do we reach the lost, stay connected to the saved, keep everyone well fed on the word, and in the tangible presence of the Almighty?
We serve an awesome, sovereign God. Let's just pray that he will make us the glorified body of Christ that we are meant to be.
I am a self proclaimed arty-farty, so anything that appeals to the senses, anything I can experience is great for me. However, that doesn't cut it. I want to know God and understand more about him.
I read blogs that discuss this kind of thing, and there are basically three major categories.
First, you have the traditional church, that has been around for eons. Some claim it's broke, I don't know about that. Most of us over 25, as well as countless others throughout the ages, met Jesus Christ to the sweet old tune of "Just as I am". That being said, people are looking for something different, and many of those churches are struggling and closing their doors.
Then you have the experiential charismatic churches founded on the "Jesus Movement" as I have heard it said. They have experienced AWESOME movements of the Holy Spirit. They have changed the face of worship forever. I gather that they gave birth to the mega-church that has seeker services for the lost in which a rock show performance is given and the gospel is presented in a non-threatening fashion. And it works, thousands are being saving!
Now I am hearing more and more about this third group. They are somewhere in the middle, I guess. They are tired of the huge performance based services because they lack the meat of traditional service. They want to be connected with other members of the body of Christ and feel that 36,000 members in a church are a few too many (ya think?). They feel like it is too manufactured and superficial. But they are not necessarily on board with the traditional church either, they want to experience God in a tangible way. They want the manifest Holy presence that they found in the charismatic church. Tricky!
And this group is growing like crazy.
I am reading more and more material all the time that God's people want a real encounter with him in all of these areas. Which makes since, considering Christ told us to love him with our minds, bodies, and our hearts. I think that's the key, the heart.
I just think about these things in perspective to my home church. How do we meet the needs of all of these people? How do we reach the lost, stay connected to the saved, keep everyone well fed on the word, and in the tangible presence of the Almighty?
We serve an awesome, sovereign God. Let's just pray that he will make us the glorified body of Christ that we are meant to be.
Friday, March 23, 2007
World In Motion
I apologize to all of you who have checked my blog in the past weeks and nada!
Here's the deal.....
My whole world is in motion. Even more than normal.
Things that have been the same for years are being completely rearranged.
It's awesome to sit back and watch what God is doing. He really has this timing thing down!
Another really interesting aspect of all the changes is that God rearranged my priorities not that long ago, and I am at peace and even taking pleasure in changes that would have been devastating to me before.
Cool, huh?
Stay tuned.....
I tell you more later!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Glory,Glory All Around
God's Glory.
Everything seems to center around that this week. It started when I downloaded our praise and worship songs for Sunday morning.Then one of my friends and fellow praise teamers had a word for us at rehearsal about how important it is to God that his name is glorified throughout the earth. And then I went to the Clarity Youth Conference with our youth group. And you'll never guess where his message went.
His message started and centered around the statement that
"The purpose of God's Word is to reveal how God redeems his people for HIS glory."
He proceeded to lead us through scripture after scripture spanning from cover to cover of the bible showing God's desire is to show his glory to his people.
We were all very convicted as he began to show us that we have turned even Christian faith around to be all about us, as is the good ole' American way. He asked us, "What would we say is the number one statement of Christianity?" I think probably 99.8% of us came up with the same essential answer. God loves us, Jesus loves me, Christ died for us. Then he pointed out that if that is the main idea of Christianity, then it's all about us, and not him. What does God do for us?
While God's love is a pivotal truth, God's main point is to reveal his glory to the ends of the earth. God is love and to reveal his glory will include sharing who he is with us. So love can't help but be a part of that. But his greatest commandment tells us to love him with everything we are. And his great commission says to spread his glory.
It was very convicting for us all, and just awesome for a youth group to hear, as they are a generation who are programmed to be completely self-indulgent and self-absorbed.
Side note:
We saw Leeland in concert. Woohoo!!!!! My friend Terri and I love his music so we were jubilant! He is just such a spirit filled, humble kid with a huge heart for God. And he is excellent live!
We also saw Charlie Hall, which we didn't even know would be there, so that was an added bonus.
We did sleep (if that's what you call dozing off and on for 4 hours) on a very hard floor,though, so there was some sacrifice involved.
Until next time........
Friday, January 12, 2007
Blindside
Mark 8
22They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. 23He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man's eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, "Do you see anything?"
24He looked up and said, "I see people; they look like trees walking around."
25Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. 26Jesus sent him home, saying, "Don't go into the village."
Hebrews 13
11The high priest carries the blood of animals into the Most Holy Place as a sin offering, but the bodies are burned outside the camp. 12And so Jesus also suffered outside the city gate to make the people holy through his own blood. 13Let us, then, go to him outside the camp, bearing the disgrace he bore. 14For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.
These are the verses on my mind. As you can see they all have a little something in common. I think I'm supposed to be stepping outside the familiar. I love Hebrews 13:13, go to him outside the camp. That's where he'll be, waiting.
I'm also partial to the blind man story, as lately I felt as though I was being lead around like a blind man. I'm not complaining. It's awesome. I am the kind of person that wants to see the big picture (according to my very good friend), and that's not what I'm experiencing right now. I take a step at a time, trying my best to follow the direction of the Holy Spirit. I just pray that he won't let me stray to the left or to the right, just forward.
I heard a sermon recently that painted an awesome portrait of the blind man for me. He said that this man allowing Jesus to lead him outside was a huge step of faith. For those that are blind, familiarity is everything. Twenty steps to the door, ten to the refrigerator, the couch is to my left, the table on the right. You take a blind man from his comfort zone, and he is completely vulnerable. And that's exactly where Christ lead this man. That's also where he was restored.
So........ I'm just holding my breath.........
22They came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. 23He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man's eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, "Do you see anything?"
24He looked up and said, "I see people; they look like trees walking around."
25Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. 26Jesus sent him home, saying, "Don't go into the village."
Hebrews 13
11The high priest carries the blood of animals into the Most Holy Place as a sin offering, but the bodies are burned outside the camp. 12And so Jesus also suffered outside the city gate to make the people holy through his own blood. 13Let us, then, go to him outside the camp, bearing the disgrace he bore. 14For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come.
These are the verses on my mind. As you can see they all have a little something in common. I think I'm supposed to be stepping outside the familiar. I love Hebrews 13:13, go to him outside the camp. That's where he'll be, waiting.
I'm also partial to the blind man story, as lately I felt as though I was being lead around like a blind man. I'm not complaining. It's awesome. I am the kind of person that wants to see the big picture (according to my very good friend), and that's not what I'm experiencing right now. I take a step at a time, trying my best to follow the direction of the Holy Spirit. I just pray that he won't let me stray to the left or to the right, just forward.
I heard a sermon recently that painted an awesome portrait of the blind man for me. He said that this man allowing Jesus to lead him outside was a huge step of faith. For those that are blind, familiarity is everything. Twenty steps to the door, ten to the refrigerator, the couch is to my left, the table on the right. You take a blind man from his comfort zone, and he is completely vulnerable. And that's exactly where Christ lead this man. That's also where he was restored.
So........ I'm just holding my breath.........
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