Silence of the Lamb

I am facing a decision, I am confused, and who hasn't been there, right?

And while I have served as chief advisor for my family and some of my friends, I find myself searching for a little counsel myself.

Our sermon Sunday was great for me. He preached from the book of Isaiah, that declares Christ as "Wonderful Counselor" amongst other titles, and reminded us to seek Christ in all of our decisions. Good stuff!

I have been prayerfully weighing the pros and cons, even though I am still waiting on most of my decision making criteria to be revealed. I am looking for God to illuminate the way I should go, and am diligently seeking an answer, and it's been really quiet. Or maybe I'm not hearing properly. That could be it.

So I'm watching my morning programs and lo' ...... something catches me. He spoke about the Hebrews in Egypt and how they lived in silence for 400 years. They were enslaved and persecuted and waiting for deliverance with no word for half of a millennium. They must have felt deserted and started to question if the God of their fathers was even there at all. Then out of the blue, the Lord sends his man and delivers them ultimately to the land of milk and honey.

Then he quoted Exodus 19:4-5

4'You yourselves have seen what I did to the Egyptians, and how I bore you on eagles' wings, and brought you to Myself.
5'Now then, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be a peculiar treasure among all the peoples, for all the earth is Mine;

He said God delivers us for Himself. For His purpose. And I love the term used in verse 5, I don't know why, "You shall be a peculiar treasure ..."

Today I went out from that story and found Exodus 13, where after God delivers them from pharoah, He then leads the way to the promise land. And not one of those "we feel like God is leading us in this direction....... maybe.....".

21 The LORD was going before them in a pillar of cloud by day to lead them on the way, and in a pillar of fire by night to give them light, that they might travel by day and by night.

Now that's illuminating the path.

The other thing that has come to my attention is that when Christ hung on the cross, he accomplished much in silence.

So that's it for now, just waiting. I'll keep you posted.

Get Your Own Personal Jesus

So have you seen this guy?

The Jesus action figure. Hmmmmmmm......

I guess it's just hitting the market because I have never seen him before. And just in time for CHRISTmas! Apparently he quotes scripture, and is it me or does he look very much like Val Kilmer.

I am afraid that I am a little torn on this one. You can look at it from two different perspectives really.

1.) There are tons of negative influences on our children today. Violent video games, scantily clad fashion dolls, and some of these cartoons are just over the top . But here we have the Jesus action figure that spouts scripture and provides a positive alternative for that parent who is looking for just the right Christmas gift.

2.) Have we reduced our holy, sovereign Lord to the likes of a children's play toy? How is a world full of sin supposed to take Christianity seriously when we mass produce plastic saviours and slap 'em on the shelf between G.I. Joe and Barbie?

I may be opening a can of worms, but I am curious as to how the rest of you feel about this?

Talk to me........

What are the Odds?!

I just thought I would share this lovely photo with you. We looked out the back door of the office one day and saw the Oscar Meyer Weiner-Mobile. I couldn't resist the photo op! Like I said.....what are the odds?

Save the Drama fo' yo' Mama!

I have no idea why I picked that title. Sara has a t-shirt that says that, and it sounded good, I guess.

I am actually very excited about drama. I just have to say that I never cease to be amazed at the God-given talent in our church body!

For the two of you that read my blog that do not attend First Baptist Clarksville, we are about to start a new church-wide campaign called "40 Days of Community". The whole goal being to connect with other believers and reach unbelievers and unchurched outside our walls. We will be doing missions and outreach programs, and I am so pumped about all of it!

So where does the drama come in? Well, I have the pleasure of being a part of the weekend services planning team, and we are attempting to pull out all the stops and make our worship services completely different. We have decided that drama is something we want to add to our services. So last night we rehearsed with a group of folks, mostly youth, who are going to try to pull this off, and I am just impressed. They are really going to be great!

There are so many gifted people hiding out there in our congregation, and I am always pleasantly surprised to see who God puts into position.

So that's it, that's my praise today. I have so much fun in this ministry, I am a little guilty some times. I guess no one ever said serving God couldn't be fun. Hence finding the joy of the Lord!

Drive-Thru Miracles

Okay, I know you guys can relate. Sometimes I have a tendency to be just a little impatient. That being said, let me tell you a story.

The other day my husband was visiting his mother at her shop in Lamar. While he was there, this lady drives by. A lot of you know her, but since I don't have her express permission to blog about her business we will dub her "Singer". So Singer drives on by.

Now Singer knows my mother-in-law as they have done some business together in the past and have become acquainted.

Singer had planned on stopping by my mom-in-law's shop the following day, but as she was driving by said she felt the Holy Spirit tell her to stop right then. She ignored it for a few more seconds, but as she became more and more convicted, she decided to turn around and go back, not having any idea why (I didn't find out all of these details until I spoke with my mom-in-law a few days later).

So Singer comes in, and is introduced to my husband. My mom-in-law tells her that this is Jacob, married to Spring (apparently we know several of the same folks, because she has heard my name some, although we have never met). She begins to talk to Jacob about music as she has heard that I sing some, and that's how the conversation goes. She tells Jacob about this class in Little Rock that teaches the basics on ProTools recording equipment and tells him we should go. She gives him her email address and I guess that was about the end of it. So no major prophetic words or anything, just information about a class.

So much to my surprise, Jacob really wanted to go. I didn't think he would, but he did, and he wanted me to go with him.

I wasn't crazy about the idea, and tryed to wriggle out of it for a while. The baby wasn't feeling well, I had to rearrange my whole work schedule for the day, we wouldn't get back until 10:00p.m., blah, blah, blah. I finally agreed to go the next day, and made the arrangements.

So the morning of our trip, it hit me. "Wait a minute...... if God told Singer to turn around in her tracks to come and tell Jacob about this class, and Jacob for whatever mysterious reason has decided he wants to go, then maybe God is planning a major move!" So I got really excited. I started letting my thoughts run wild with all the awesome things God might do that day. I was expecting to see fireworks for sure!

So all day I waited and watched. We had a great day. We were actually getting to spend some one on one time together which hasn't happened in a long while. We had some extra time to kill, so we had coffee at the River Market, went to the art museum, just enjoyed each other. Still waiting and watching............

We went to the class, most of which was completely foreign to me. Jacob seemed to get it though, and was really glad we went. He is really excited about setting up our recording studio, and can't wait to get started.

But..........no fireworks.

So what was all of that about?! I don't get it. I wasn't really disappointed or anything, I trust God and his timing, but I was just sure something great would happen.

This morning, as I watched my 5:00 a.m. televangelist t.v., I heard something that made sense. T.D. Jakes said that we, as a nation, expect everything to come so quickly. We want everything fast and convenient, and we don't ever want to wait for anything, even if it's better than the drive-thru version. But God doesn't usually move like that. He moves over time, sometimes months, years, and sometimes over generations. We think that just because we don't see instant results, that God isn't moving, but that's just not so. Be patient!

There's that word, patient. I am trying.

So anyway, I am still really excited to see how God is moving in Jacob's life. I have a feeling that years from now I might be able to look back at the time Singer stopped by and gave Jacob some information that started a transformation in his life, and give God all the praise!

Delirious

Ever have one of those non-stop 'till ya drop kind of days, but then you crash into bed with a big smile on your face?

Hello! That's me, this weekend. I love where God has me right now! I am going ninety miles an hour, but I am getting to do so many things that I love to do. Ten years ago, I would never have thought that I would be were I am today, praise GOD!!!! I guess I am really starting to understand the satisfaction of pouring into others what God pours into me. All I can say is that it is amazing. We sang that in church yesterday, and that's right where I am. Lord, I'm amazed by you...how you love me.

All in one weekend, God blessed me with the ability to spend time with my husband and daughters, help plan with the 40 days committee, be there for some friends, exercise, eat steak, worship Him, teach Sr. High girls, dance, sing, write music, and practice some new chords on my guitar(in chronological order, not by priority). Wow! I was so tired last evening, I got a little crazy headed. Sara gets such a kick whenever I get like that. You know, delirious! We laughed all the way home.

As I fell into bed last night, I just realized that I am really happy. And I have been for a while, regardless of the circumstances of that particular day, week, month, ect.

Thank you, God, and thank you to my family, too (biological and bros and sisses in Christ),
I LOVE YA!!!!!!

The Tip of the Tongues

I read a most interesting article tonight called "Divinity of the Mind". It may bore some of you into a good nights sleep, but I found it quite fascinating. It was essentially an interview with a completely non-religious scientist that has been studying the activity of the human brain (via bran scan) in subjects during prayer and meditation.

Of course to keep things variable he studied three groups...... Franciscan nuns, Buddhists, and Pentecostal Christians. Wow, what a crew!

During the Franciscan nuns' prayers their frontal lobes were highly active which is the part of your brain that is used during intense focus. Makes sense. But the part of their brain that identifies the body with its surroundings became very inactive. Which the scientist said would make the person feel slightly transcendent or oceanic. Similar activity was present during the Buddhist meditation. The major difference was that the nuns had activity in the part of the brain that controls language (they were chanting prayers), while the Buddhists' visual sensors were active (Buddhists focus on an object in their hand).

Then along came the Pentecostal Christians. The scientist was shocked by what he found. They were moving around, dancing, and speaking in tongues. Their brains were very active, but not in the frontal lobes. They seemed to be completely unfocused on praying and singing. And yet consumed in it. And while they were speaking in tongues the language parts of their brains were totally inactive (obviously that should have been the area of the brain that was highly active). He seemed fascinated by the fact and said he guessed it made perfect sense if you were to believe that tongues were being spoken from an outside force.

He was intrigued by how active our mind is during spiritual experiences. I think he was surprised by his own findings. He knew he was definitely on to something.

Unfortunately, the scientist remained uncommitted to any final hypothesis. He is determined to continue to search for evidence of God in the human mind.


Hmmmmmm........very interesting.

Spouting Poetry

My very good friend left this poem by Maya Angelou in my box yesterday. Loved it, thought I'd share........

Christians

When I say... "I'm a Christian"

I'm not shouting "I'm clean living"

I'm whispering "I was lost."

Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say "I'm a Christian"

I don't speak of this with pride

I'm confessing that I stumble

And I need Christ to be my guide.

When I say "I'm a Christian"

I'm not trying to be strong.

I'm professing that I'm weak

And I need His strength to carry on.

When I say "I'm a Christian"

I'm not bragging of success

I'm admitting that I have failed

And need God to clean my mess.

When I say "I'm a Christian"

I'm not claiming to be perfect.

My flaws are far too visible

But, God believes I'm worth it.

When I say "I'm a Christian"

I still feel the sting of pain.

I have my share of heartaches

So I call upon His name.

When I say "I'm a Christian"

I'm not holier than thou,

I'm just a simple sinner

Who received God good grace, somehow!

Have a BLESSED day!

Ephesians 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Two really odd events happened this weekend that brought this verse to mind.

Event One: My daughter had a birthday sleepover on Friday. Her "party room" was beautifully decorated with a winter theme. Blues and silvers and sparkles everywhere. We were set with makeup and fingernail polish and all the supplies preteens need for a makeover.

She had invited nine or ten girls and seven showed up. So far, so good. The evening went great. They had a blast and stayed up very late. I finally forced the lights out after midnight. When the thunderstorm came, I waited for them to come squeeling into my room, but the storm blew over with no drama. I thought to myself, "They are really growing up."

Little did I know, there was plenty of drama taking place in the party room! Saturday I got quite the earfull. One of the little girls from school claimed to have become a witch, and during the storm proceeded to pray to some foreign god, chanting incantations, and calling the corners. Whoa!!!! Right under my own roof!

I asked my daughter what they did, and her response made me very proud. She and two of the other friends began witnessing to her, they prayed for her (which made her very agitated), and finally got her talked down I guess. I was upset that no one came and told me what was taking place, but I couldn't have been happier with them immediately turning to God.

The really sad part is that there is a very disturbed and confused eleven year old playing with some very dangerous concepts. I am honestly still debating on how to proceed. Talk to the parents? Are the parents the source? Do I want to even go there? No! But I am sure that it's my responsibility as a Christian to do something.

Event two: One of my closest friends attempted suicide and came very close to succeeding. This is not the first time. To be honest I don't even know how many times this makes. Maybe five? It was pills this time. Some kind of pain killer/anti-anxiety, I don't know. She took enough to do the job, but she got sick and didn't keep it all down. Thank you Lord!

I have never understood her. While she had a very tramatic childhood, she now has a great husband, two beautiful kids, no major concerns of any kind. Just her past. Which haunts her more than I know, obviously. I want to just grab her and say, "Think of those kids, think of your husband, what if you accidently do it one of these days?!". Actually I have said it, many times. But it never helps. She told me once that she sometimes doesn't feel alone. She has heard whispers that terrify her. My immediate reaction.... spiritual attack. I went to see her today and am going to give her my very best effort to help her get right again with God and get her life back. He did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of sound mind. Those whom Christ set free are free indeed, right!

These are the things on my mind today. Pretty heavy.

Seven Characters We Need In Church

I found this on Christianity Today.
It's long, but I thought worth the read.....

Romans 12:4-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:4-31 compare the church to a body. In order to function, a body needs a lot of different parts. And each part needs special abilities. What kind of abilities? I thought of seven characters who'd fit in well. In fact, I think every church needs a …
Professor X
In the X-Men films, Magneto believes that mutants must take care of themselves in a world that hates them. Professor X believes humans and mutants can and must live together.
Magneto's plan doesn't sound that evil, really. But Professor X is able to see the lie behind Magneto's thinking. Just because a path seems easy and attractive, it isn't always right. Knowing the difference is discernment. We need people like Professor X in the church because of their ability to know right and wrong.
In church, Professor X would help his congregation stay on the right track and discern what the Bible says about certain issues. God would speak through him in distinguishing truth from error and deciding if teachings really come from God. We see this a lot in the Bible. My favorite example is in Acts 5:1-11. Ananias and Sapphira tell lies from Satan, but God uses Peter to discern the truth.
Other discerners: Morpheus in The Matrix and Yoda in Star Wars.

Mrs. Beaver
The first time Mrs. Beaver meets the young heroes of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, she says, "Come inside, we'll get you some food." From there, she works to provide for them while Mr. Beaver tells them all about Narnia. She stirs the pot on the fire. She feeds the kids. Keeps them all warm.
She is the behind-the-scenes server and helper. In the church, these people do tasks—however small—to free others to use their own gifts for ministry. So who's Mrs. Beaver in your church? It's the person in the kitchen washing dishes after a big fundraiser. Or the guys setting up chairs. Or the people working in the nursery. In John 13:1-17, Jesus gave the ultimate lesson in serving when he washed his disciples feet. Jesus (who modeled many gifts including teaching and leading) modeled humbleness by doing the small tasks for others. This is shown in a neat way in Bruce Almighty. When Bruce first meets God, he is a humble janitor. That's Jesus—a helper and server. Like Mrs. Beaver, this janitor knows that every church needs those who do the dirty work.
Other servers/helpers: Jin from Lost and Edna 'E' Mode in The Incredibles.

Pierre Dulaine
In Take the Lead, Pierre Dulaine is able to reach rough, lost kids considered unteachable. How does he do it? By dancing.
Through basic dance principles—like leading and following—Pierre teaches his students about life. He makes his lessons relevant to their daily experiences. He spots their talents and skills and not only encourages them to use those skills, but shows them how.
At your church, Pierre would be the youth pastor who uses great illustrations, tells powerful stories and offers understandable and practical ways to live out your faith. He'd have the gift to make God's Word come alive and make sense. He'd also care deeply about each student and encourage them to find their own role. This is what Ephesians 4:12 means when it says that God appointed teachers "to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up."
Other teachers: Hank Hill from King of the Hill and Coach Boone from Remember the Titans.

Summer Hathaway
When fake substitute teacher Dewey Finn forms a band out of his class in School of Rock, he makes ambitious, responsible and organized Summer Hathaway the band manager. "I'll be busy rocking out," Dewey tells her. "It's up to you to make sure everyone is doing their jobs." And she does. With a clipboard and many checklists, Summer makes sure everyone is where they need to be, schedules gigs and keeps track of the band's gear.
In your church, Summer is the person who keeps everything in order and on schedule. This is the gift of administration. In the original Greek, "administrate" means to steer or guide. Administrators in your church, like Summer, keep things running so the leaders can concentrate on doing what God has called them to do.
Other administrators: Alfred in the Batman films and C-3PO in Star Wars.

Will Turner
When the governor's daughter, Elizabeth, is kidnapped in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, the commodore wants to play it safe. But a lowly peasant blacksmith, Will Turner, steps up with a new plan. Before it is over, Will becomes a trusted leader. When being chased by pirates, Will commands the crew to take a stand. Though Will's plan seems crazy, his crew trusts his leadership and guidance.
Why? Because Will has the leadership qualities of confidence, decision-making and courage. He models trustworthiness and shows what it means to work hard. Will doesn't lead like a dictator, but works as a team with Captain Jack and Elizabeth. He isn't always the first to speak on issues, but he guides others—sometimes quietly—to address them. He presents an example of what is right and just. This is a big part of what leadership in the church is about: standing before people to direct and motivate them to accomplish goals. Hebrews 13:17 says that leaders "are watching over you, and they must answer to God."
Other leaders: Aragorn in The Lord of the Rings and Peter Pevensie in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Lisa Simpson
Lisa Simpson is so smart that she used to change her own diapers. And now, even though she's only 8, Lisa often uses her wisdom to guide others. Whenever something in Springfield is not right, Lisa is the person always popping her head up and saying, "We need to fix this!"
When Homer joined the Stonecutters club, Lisa discovered they only concentrated on power and fun. Lisa told her dad, "Getting what you want all the time leaves you unfulfilled and joyless." Her warnings help Homer see that the group should actually be helping other people. Like Lisa, people in the church with the gift of wisdom make their knowledge practical and useful by helping others understand how it impacts their daily life and decision-making.
Other wisdom-lenders: Gandalf in The Lord of the Rings and Mr. Miyagi in The Karate Kid.

Hagrid
Romans 12:8 says that if a person's gift is "showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully" (NIV). Nobody displays that better than Hogwart's groundskeeper/professor Hagrid. There are few people with a bigger heart than Hagrid. He gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, he has compassion for animals no one else would go near, and does it all with a big goofy grin. In Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Draco Malfoy does everything he can to make life miserable for Hagrid. What's Hagrid do? He does his best to be nothing but kind to Malfoy.
At your church, Hagrid would offer genuine sympathy, speak words of love and compassion. He'd be everyone's shoulder to cry on. And that's one big shoulder.
Other mercy-givers: Rachel Dawes from Batman Begins and Lucy from The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Who are You?
You may not have any cartoons or talking animals in your congregation, but you do have people with lots of roles and gifts. Who has a gift of teaching? Who is serving? Who offers mercy? How do they all work together?
And how do you fit in? What gifts do you have?

Nothing I Will Ever Do

Whew! Had a very busy week. Sorry to drop off the face of the earth for a few days. I've got a few minutes of downtime, so I thought I'd jot down a thought or two.

This past weekend I went on a girlfriends trip with some of the lovely ladies from church (see Kathy's blog for graphics). We had a lot of fun, did quite a bit of shopping in a very short amount of time, and stayed up late talking. It is always good to get away.

We also went to a women's function at the Second Baptist Church of Conway. They had brought in a speaker/singer named Kim Bolten. I had never heard of her, but she gave a lot of good insight. To me she was very tame, as I am completely spoiled to our loud and lively worship at home. Lisa and I got tickled at the ladies of Second Baptist. You could tell that was probably the most rambunctious worship music they had ever experienced. Funny how diverse we Christians are.

She said many things that touched and convicted me, but as always, there was one thing that really got me. She said, "Nothing you will ever do will make God love you more, but nothing you will ever do will make God love you less." I know, it's a very simple concept. But I don't think I knew that. I think I have been under the illusion that if I made all the right moves, was a servant, and faithfull, that God would love me more than He does right now. The other side of that is that if I screwed up too bad, He might not love me as much. Not that He would stop loving me altogether, just less.

But that's just not true, is it? How could God ever love us any more or any less when GOD IS LOVE ? And the love He has for us is perfect.

That's it, gotta run!

Known to be Wrong

Did I mention that I am known to be wrong about things from time to time? 'Cause I am.

I made a post on August 28th titled "The Rock and the Hard Place". You can read it if you want, but the jist of it was about being willing to expose yourself to the negative influences of the world in order to connect with lost people and hopefully establish a relationship in which you can witness to them. I quoted the 1 Thes. verse about seperating yourself from the appearance of evil, and questioned what degree of seperation that requires. I have been of the opinion that if you are a strong enough Christian, you could go into these worldy places and be okay and would have an excellent opportunity to reach people that you might otherwise never reach. Maybe I'm an optimist.

I haven't completely changed my thinking on that, but at the risk of completely leaving myself exposed for critisism, I am going to share my recent experience.

I went out with a group of friends that I haven't been around in ages as well as my brother and husband. We went to Altus to have a nice dinner and drinks. I volunteered to be the designated driver. Dinner went great, and I was glad I had decided to come. I thought to myself, "What's the big deal? I am having fun with my old friends. No guilt in this." When the time came to leave the restaurant, though, they weren't ready for the evening to end. So it was decided that we would walk down the street to the little pub and have more drinks. Okay, no big deal, we'll stay for a bit and go home, right? Not exactly.

I was okay for a while, the bar was relatively empty and it was karaoke night. If you have ever witnessed karaoke, you know it can be very entertaining. But of course, my group insisted that I sing something for them. I held up the resistence for quite some time, but as the group drank more and became more and more demanding, I caved and sang them a song. And that's when the guilt starting creeping in. My mind went ninety miles an hour! What are you doing in a pub singing karaoke!? What if your Sunday school girls could see you now!? Although I wasn't particulary committing any mortal sin, I knew that the Holy Spirit wanted me out of there.

So what did I do? I told my group I was ready to leave, but they weren't, and since I was the driver, I stayed a little longer. I am sure I was quite the site, sitting there like a little knotted up prude, completely out of my element. Finally, when the entire room began chiming in on the chorus of the ever popular song, "She f@#*ing hates me", the Holy Spirit yelled in my ear, "GET OUT!" I told my group I had to leave and drove home with the other non-drinker in the group who was also ready to leave and feeling uncomfortable.

The night was not over quite yet, but that's where I'll end the story.

So..... I told you all of that to say this.

Maybe I am not ready to be out there just yet. I didn't fall off the wagon and go nuts, whoop-ity-do! But did I really accomplish anything at all for the kingdom? I guess I tryed to set an example, but other than that, nada. All I know is that I'm really glad God loves me, and that He is merciful.

That's it, the lines are open.

Carnivale!

The Johnson County Fair is in town! It is a one of a kind event that brings out a colorful plethora of people marching down the fairway to a symphony of gospel singing, merry-go-round tunes, and the oh-so alluring bellow of the carnies. Throw in the pungent aroma of funnel cakes, farm animals, and overripe humans, and you've got the full mental picture. The funny thing..... I haven't missed it in years!

Last night, my eldest daughter and I decided to make our annual visit. As we made our rounds, I did what I always do, people watch. I don't know why, I just like to take it all in. I scope them out from head to toe, analyzing every detail. I listen to their conversations. I watch their body language. And since the fair crowd is made up of such a diverse group of people and many of them are teenagers, you see it all.

The main thing that caught my attention last night was the large amount of preteens and just barely teens (probably twelve to fifteen) that were headed down a dangerously rebellious path. It's like they were out there to prove to their peers how bad they could be. They were cruel and degrading to each other, chain smoking, using curses at any given opportunity. I kept moving Sara away from their groups to try to prevent her from exposure. All this was just standing in line for a turn on the tilt-a-whirl!

I thought to myself, "Where are these heathens from?", "Where are their parents?". The sad thing is they're from right here. Right where we could influence them. It really made me aware of the task at hand. We have an awesome youth ministry at our church. We have great leaders, and great kids that have been raised by great parents. Great! But there are still so many kids out there that are way off in left field! What are we as Christ followers going to do about it?

I have decided that someone needs to do a documentary at the fair. We need to interview these kids, and find out where they stand spiritually. Although I think I have a pretty good idea. Everything about them tells me that they are just searching for acceptance, someone to notice them, and care. (A documentary would make a great witnessing tool, too.)

When I think about what a monumental undertaking it is to try to reach this newest generation of teens, it is overwhelming. But there is always hope! Just this morning I woke up thinking about them again, and God brought something to my attention. He reminded me that I was just like them at that exact age. I was searching and going crazy, and there was probably some adult that was worried that I was frightfully out of control (Her name was probably Granny). He pulled me out of all that, and they are not beyond His reach, either. So I am recharged with a new conviction to reach the hellions of Clarksville. I just don't know exactly how yet.

Here's a start..... and a plug. Our band, Beyond Walls, plays at the fair on Saturday at 2:00p.m. Outreach ministry is our goal, so hopefully their will be some little ears there that can be influenced by some people who love Christ. And we can always pray!

(The awesome art piece is by one of my favorite artists, Mark Ryden)

Whoa...too much information

How much do you let others in? This morning, that was the question on my mind. For years I had the opinion that if you don't let others in, they won't hurt you. I know a lot of people who share that opinion. Have relationships, but don't get too close.

I have made many new friends in the last couple of years, and as you read in my previous post (Ice Queen...), I am trying very hard to be real with everyone. I want them to know me, and the real me, not the person you put on for church and parent teacher meetings. I am really enjoying myself, too. It's great letting your hair down, so to speak. Even if it is not 100% all of the time.

So back to the question of the day. Should we discuss issues with friends deeper than weekend plans, funny life stories, and struggles with kids? Do we dare discuss the things that God is revealing to us, the changes that the Holy Spirit is urging us to make, visions that God has given us for our futures, ect.? Scary. Or at least it is to me. That is a very vulnerable position to be in. In Luke, the bible says that when the wise men were telling about what God had done in their lives, Mary kept those things to herself and pondered them.

I had convinced myself this morning that it was fine for me to keep my God stuff to myself. People aren't really comfortable talking about that anyway, right? Then I read my friend's blog (kathyhickey.blogspot.com). She quoted an email she got from Rick Warren. The article addressed just this issue and it says that we should discuss the deeper life issues with our friends and let them know what God is doing in our lives so that they can support and offer guidance (or at least that's how I took it).

So which is it, keep and ponder? Or do we lay ourselves out there? This is a tough one for me. I am just not sure. I know that God has called us to have real and meaningful relationships with our brothers and sisters. However, when I do open up in that area, I often feel like I've said too much. On the flip side, lately I have the need to talk to some great and wise person that won't think I'm crazy and ask a few questions. The most great and wise person I know and trust is God, so here we are again.

Just curious, how open are you to your friends?

My Brother's Keeper

My brother is one of the most difficult and complex people I have ever met. He is incredibly talented and intelligent, and that's not just coming from a proud big sis. He is a student at Tech and I have heard several other people comment on what a wiz he is. He is also one of the most musically inclined people I know. He is awesome on a guitar, plays drums, bass, sings, whatever he decides to try. He also writes music. But not like me. He is one of these truly sick individuals that are actually capable of orchestrating in their mind.

The sad part is, he is kind of wasting it right now. He has a lot of issues. We had a messed up childhood and both of us headed down the wrong path for years. Addiction and alchoholism is a part of the Meadows family crest, and we got trapped in that lifestyle like so many before us. Praise God, He saved me from all of that. Just had to take one little step. But my brother is not saved and he is still stuck in that place, and it's starting to take a toll on him.

He's not just unsaved, he is almost anti-Christian. We had a very warped example of what it is to follow Christ as children, and I don't think he has ever forgotten about that. I witness to him all the time in a completely non-threatening way, careful to shut up when it's time, but he doesn't seem to be budging.

So here's the good news. Challenging as it may be. He has decided, for whatever reaason, that he wants to help me record and write my Christian music. Awesome! He also wants me to help him record and write with him on his ideas, too. My husband, who is not a believer in Christ, but a believer in God is totally into learning everything he can to help us record and produce. He ordered a computer today that was loaded with whatever it needs to be loaded with for musical purposes. And he has decided to turn my shop into a recording studio.

I am excited because this is an excellent way for me to get to witness to my lost boys without being in their face. Music really ministers to both of them. This could be what gets them to the alter so to speak. It will be challenging, we are all three leaders. We've got two alpha males and a control freak. Who wants to be a fly on my wall? Pray that God will give me patience, and just the right words, because the opportunity is there.

The Ice Queen Thaws

I have an announcement. As it turns out, I do have feelings, and they are capable of being hurt.


It has been a running joke in my family for a long time that I do not allow myself to have feelings and was therefore dubbed the "Ice Queen". I really was a cold and detached person in the past
and was sympathetic to no one. If I saw someone wollowing in self pity, my response would always be, "Suck it up, and move on". Good thing God didn't have that attitude towards me.
I seem to be thawing in these last few years. The more I grow spiritually, the more I feel. Especially sympathy/empathy.


So my daughter is turning twelve and having a slumber party in a couple of weeks. She has invited several girls to the house, I don't even know how many. But one little girl's parents told her she could not come. The reason.......(drumroll)........because they think I'm weird. What !?! Me !?! The funniest part is that this little girl has been over a couple of times and Sara has been to her house, and I really went out of my way to be super normal friendly mom, as we all do when we meet new friends' parents. I wasn't trying to be fake, just nice. I'm glad, if they saw the whole me, I might have been committed! Apparently I am the only mother who puts on mullet wigs and impersonates 80's rock stars!


Sometimes I feel like I have this big sign on my forehead that says, "Hi, I'm different! Don't get too close". I feel like an outsider a lot. But I was beginning to think that most people feel that way. I have shared with a select few that I have a problem with feeling like people look down on me, and are judging me, and so therefore I am a little intimidated by those people, just to hear that a lot of that select group felt the exact same way.


So what's the deal, why do we feel this way? I have convinced myself that it is a cheap trick of the devil to keep us from getting to know each other and develop close relationships. I made a decision a couple of years ago that I would just be myself as much as possible, and they could either love me or leave me, but I am going to be who I am. Honestly, I don't know how well it's working out for me. I have made some great new friends, but it looks like I'm losing some for my kid. Sad! I guess you can't win them all.

Revealed by the Fish

I had a great day today. Nothing spectacular or earth changing, just a great day. Have you ever had the feeling that your whole world is about to change, and you are totally at peace with it?

Our worship pastor sparked a conversation this past weekend about creation. He asked us to recall a time when God revealed himself to us through his creation. I didn't respond out loud, but many of the choir members began to describe their experiences. The sky, the Grand Canyon, sunsets. One gave an awesome example of a natural "phenomena" in Colorado that I have never heard of, but sounds incredible.

I could recall many such examples, but there is one example that (to me) should leave even the hardest heart out there reeling in awe. It's the design of our universe, that's all. Every drop of space and matter is made of protons and electrons spinning around each other, and that is the basis for everything. I think about how every living thing depends on the millions of other living things for survival, and that if any part of the system is weakened, all the other parts are effected. I think about how the universal concept seems to be rotation, from the tiniest said protons and electrons to the solar systems that rotate around the stars. How any human alive can look at this universe and not acknowledge an intelligent creator baffles me.

I'll give one more example before I turn in. And this time I'll bring it in on a smaller scale. I had a creation revelation while snorkeling a few weeks ago. That was my first time and I found myself in awe of the spectacular ecosystem just below the surface of water. At first, you notice the schools of larger fish swimming in sync. But as you focus in on the rocks, all kinds of living organisms come into the picture. Tiny brilliantly colored fish, bottom feeders, crabs, fish that match the color of the sand and you don't notice them until they move, and I'm sure so much more than that. I felt like a little girl. It really made me realize how much I still have to experience, all that I don't know, and how much more there must be out there.

It's a great question, when was the last time God revealed Himself to you throughHis creation?

The Rock and the hard place

I heard a very thought provoking sermon this weekend that left me feeling excited to be a part of what God is doing in our community, as well as challenged to step up to the plate. He spoke about how we must build bridges to connect believers with those outside of church walls. Our example being Christ, who build the bridge to connect us to God. I love that our church body is moving in this direction!

One thing he said that really grabs my attention is that the gap between Christians and the secular world is broadening. It is so true. It's getting harder and harder to reach unbelievers. Everyone seems so synical and desensitized. I find myself wondering what it takes now days to reach lost people.

When I was lost, the one person that really got through to me was a small group leader that was completely honest with me. She told me about her drinking days, struggles with depression, how her brother had committed suicide, that she was lonely and was sometimes tempted to give up this good fight and go to bar and find her a man. Sounds pathetic, but she got my attention. I thought, "Finally, someone real!" I found some hope in the fact that she had been that person in the past and now she was a worship leader and a Sunday school teacher.

It was true for me and I think it's true for most people. The lost are looking for someone who will meet them where they are, and be genuine. They know when you see them as a salvation project, and I think it turns them away.

So here's what's on my heart. In 1 Thes., it says to seperate yourselves from even the appearance of evil. I have heard this verse used many times to encourage believers to steer clear of anything that might expose us to something negative. I am not convinced that this verse is telling us to do that. I could be wrong. But if I am not willing to put myself in a situation where I might be exposed to something negative, then am I going to be able to reach people outside of my immediate circle of influence? Or in my case, within my immediate circle of influence. See previous post.

Our best example is always Christ, and we all know the riff raff He hung out with. Had He not been willing to dine with the tax collectors and prostitutes, He may have had a hard time reaching them. I find it hard to believe that while spending time with the lost, He was never exposed to anything that wasn't of God. I think we definately have to watch it, we are not Christ and could be led astray with too much exposure. But I believe that if I meet my lost in their environment, they are going to be more willing to meet me in mine (ya know.... the church).

Christ, Cake, and Ice Cream?

We've got another full weekend coming up.

Surprise!

This Sunday we celebrate the baby's third birthday. Her birthday was actually last Friday, but with preparing for school starting, awanas starting, fifth grade open house, preschool open house, and choir practice, we blew her off a week. As is the ritual, my family and a few of our oldest friends will be over for light grilling, cake, ice cream, and watching my child open all of her much needed gifts.

So what's the dilema?

A good portion of my family and friends are not believers. A good portion of them are. Doesn't usually come up at the gatherings. But maybe it should. These are the people I am closest to and they range from sweet little old ladies (my Granny... who is a saint), to backsliding believers, to recovered drug addicts, to raging alchoholics, and so on. And I dearly love them all.

I am just getting to know my dad again in the last couple of years, and I am ashamed to say, I don't honestly know where he stands. I know he can't stand holy rollers, though. His mother was an outrageous religious fanatic which drove him in the total opposite direction of Christ. But I also remember him being a believer when I was a very little girl.

I also have a friend coming that is a recovered addict, who as far as I know has never stepped foot in a church or heard a single bible story. I know she believes in God, though. I have thrown little tidbits out there about how God has used her unplanned pregnancy to deliver her from her addiction and she agrees. I gave her a bible a few months back and told her to start in the new testament or she would get bogged down with the old and never get to the Jesus part. That's about as far as I gotten. I deal with a lot of guilt over her because I have never just come out and told her all I know about Christ. She's knows that I am a Christian and that I want her to come to church with me, but I haven't laid it all out before her.

So I have heard time and again the encouraging words of Saint Frances of Assissi, that we should preach the Gospel at all times, and when neccessary, use words. And I am really trying hard to live it in front of my lost family and friends, but when does it become neccessary to use words?What if they never ask what caused my life to do a 180?

And then for my bunch, I am always concerned about pushing them away. I never want them to feel judged or condemned by me. I am worried that I will screw it all up and cause them to avoid being around me because instead of loving them and witnessing to them in a practical way, I become a joke, a fanatic roller who can't be taken seriously.

I guess I'll take any opportunity that presents itself at this little party, and do what I can. But if anyone has any good experience with witnessing to lost family and friends, please share. When do you cross over from trying to live out your faith in front of them, to verbalizing it?

Busy Like A Crown

Hello, Blogosphere! This is officially my first blog post (on my own blog) ever. So congratulations to you readers. I don't know much about blogging, so hopefully my knowledge will grow in the next weeks, and my blog will look better and better all the time.

I actually didn't plan to have my blog up and running for a couple more weeks because I have been sooooo busy, but here I am. Which opens for my point. Just like almost everyone I know, I get very caught up in being busy. I have a full time real estate career, a husband, and two daughters (preteen and three). I love to voluteer with anything I can to try to make a difference God's kingdom. So I commit to everything I possibly can..... and wing it from there. And like I said, I do love it. But lately, I find myself juggling, and feeling a little overwhelmed. I have been praying my way through it, and so far, so good.

So very recently I was asked to help with a new project. It's exiting, and something I will thoroughly enjoy and will allow me to be creative, and I really want to participate, but I know it will require another weekly meeting and very likely consume more time this fall. So I have been praying about it. And I really feel that God wants me to do this, too. I have cleared my head and have questioned all of my motives and I got my answer. I have prayed a lot in the last few weeks that God would give me the opportunity to reach out to people that aren't saved. I love being on the worship team and being a part of the student ministry, but I often wonder how many people I witness to that don't already know Christ. I have also prayed that He would give me the opportunity to use all of the junk from my past to serve Him. I would love to see Him take everything that the devil tryed to destroy me with and use it for His glory. And I believe that this is that opportunity.

I heard one of my favorite pastors speak on grace once. The main part of the sermon that still sticks out to me is that we get way too caught up in our day to day lives and that we wear busy like a crown. We want to serve in God's Kingdom, but we're so busy. We want to spend more time with our families, but we're so busy. And we want to live our lives, but we're so busy.

So just this week, I have been watching my morning sermons, usually Joyce Meyer and T.D. Jakes. And I have been fed a lot on grace, and have been reminded that if I am relying on myself to accomplish all that God has planned for me, then my heart is not in the right place. I need God's grace to accomplish anything at all for His kingdom. I have been reminded, yet again, it's not by works, but by faith. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And I can enjoy doing all these things, too.