I have an announcement. As it turns out, I do have feelings, and they are capable of being hurt.
It has been a running joke in my family for a long time that I do not allow myself to have feelings and was therefore dubbed the "Ice Queen". I really was a cold and detached person in the past
and was sympathetic to no one. If I saw someone wollowing in self pity, my response would always be, "Suck it up, and move on". Good thing God didn't have that attitude towards me.
I seem to be thawing in these last few years. The more I grow spiritually, the more I feel. Especially sympathy/empathy.
So my daughter is turning twelve and having a slumber party in a couple of weeks. She has invited several girls to the house, I don't even know how many. But one little girl's parents told her she could not come. The reason.......(drumroll)........because they think I'm weird. What !?! Me !?! The funniest part is that this little girl has been over a couple of times and Sara has been to her house, and I really went out of my way to be super normal friendly mom, as we all do when we meet new friends' parents. I wasn't trying to be fake, just nice. I'm glad, if they saw the whole me, I might have been committed! Apparently I am the only mother who puts on mullet wigs and impersonates 80's rock stars!
Sometimes I feel like I have this big sign on my forehead that says, "Hi, I'm different! Don't get too close". I feel like an outsider a lot. But I was beginning to think that most people feel that way. I have shared with a select few that I have a problem with feeling like people look down on me, and are judging me, and so therefore I am a little intimidated by those people, just to hear that a lot of that select group felt the exact same way.
So what's the deal, why do we feel this way? I have convinced myself that it is a cheap trick of the devil to keep us from getting to know each other and develop close relationships. I made a decision a couple of years ago that I would just be myself as much as possible, and they could either love me or leave me, but I am going to be who I am. Honestly, I don't know how well it's working out for me. I have made some great new friends, but it looks like I'm losing some for my kid. Sad! I guess you can't win them all.
4 comments:
I'm sorry your feelings are hurt. I am not sure why this parent thinks you are weird. This is apparently a problem with them, not you. Are they christians? maybe they are afraid you will convert their child. Otherwise, I dont get it.
Love ya
Thanks, Laura. I think they are Christians. Sara said they are very quiet and restrained people in their own home. Maybe that's it, as you can imagine, that is not the case in my neck of the woods. Don't mean to sound whiny, just not used to being shunned.%)
It's actually kind of entertaining!
Keep it real Spring. Lisa says (since she won't sign on as herself) she's right there with you as a fellow weirdo. You can't be anyone other than who God created you to be. Let's face it, we're a bunch of upstream swimmers.
Sweetie, if you're weird, it's very becoming on you!
I personally love being weird!!
Being weird just means God is doing cool things in your life!
He's so creative that he wants us to be unique, and I'm drawn like a magnet to people like that!
Remember the first time we ever talked, on a Wednesday night in the room across from the kitchen? That was a total God-thing, and I went home rejoicing because I knew I had found a kindred spirit, and that God was going to knit our hearts together!
I can't wait to celebrate your birthday on our girlfriend trip soon!!!
We can celebrate our weirdness, too!
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